Not long ago, I thought the Disney princesses were cute and I could empathize with my 4-year-old daughter’s infatuation with them. However, after reading all the different offshoots and permutations of my once beloved fairy tales, and having bought various princess dolls and accessories, I started to establish somewhat of a dislike, which at this point in time has peaked to an ultimate loathing of the Disney Princesses (DPs) (Disposable Peas for all I care!).
(Disclosure: Despite my detestation, I have not restricted my daughter’s play with them, but I HAVE limited TV time to maximum 1 hour everyday.)
Today, she was watching the Disney Sing Along Songs Volume 1 (Disney Princess Once Upon a Dream) when I caught the lyrics of a particular song where this little girl was singing, “I want to be like other girls.”
Suddenly I was all ears!
And you know what? I LOVED the lyrics. So much so I HAD to share it here on my blog.
My goodness!!! Finally!!! Finally, there was a princess, who did NOT want to be a princess and was telling all the wonderful things about being just a little girl!!! I was thrilled.
The song is from Mulan 2 and called Like Other Girls.
Here are the lyrics that made my day:
The life of a princess from her birth is well defined.
She must humbly serve her country; play the part she’s been assigned.
She guards the hopes of her people: weak & mighty, rich and poor.
Who could ever ask for more?
Who could ever ask for more?
[oh, yes! WHO could EVER ask for more?]
I want to be like other girls,
Climb up a tree like other girls can,
Just to be free like other girls get to be.
To slouch when I sit,
To eat a whole cake,
Feel the sun on my feet,
Get dirty,
Act silly,
Be anything I want to be,
Dance around in my underwear,
To run really fast,
Get rid of this fan,
To eat a whole cake,
Get crazy with frosting.
No escorts,
No manners,
No nursemaids,
No worries,
No hands folded perfect, like holding a lily
No pinchy shoes?
I want to be like other girls
Scrape up my knee like other girls can
Just to be free, like other girls get to be
To speak for myself
To sing way off key
Marry someone I’ve met, who loves me for me!
I used to think that it was cute calling my girls princesses. My younger daughter has never liked being called a princess. When I call her a princess, she will look me squarely in the eye and tell me she is NOT a princess. I could not understand her overreaction for quite some time. Why would some of her little girlfriends LOVE dressing up as princesses and flaunt all they have for the entire world to see, but not my little pumpkin?
Well, I think I finally understand what my daughter intuitively knew all along.
Here is my conclusion: The word ‘princess’ is loaded with so many hidden meanings, responsibilities, and expectations. When we bestow that title upon our little GIRLS (luckily, we don’t do this to boys!) and expose them to the ‘wonderful’ world of Disposable Peas, what kind of message are we giving them? We are setting them up for an impossible mission to fulfill for the rest of their lives. Simply by accepting the title of a princess, our precious little girls strive to meet that definition in their little heads. We can trick them all we want by saying, “Oh no, that is not princess behavior,” “eat like a princess,” “talk like a princess,” “walk like a princess,” etc. But we are TRICKING them. We are not being HONEST with our kids. We tell them they are a princess and expect them to BE a princess and stifle their own little personalities instead of letting them shine through. Burdened with the title of a princess, they are not FREE to be THEMSELVES anymore.
Please don’t call your girls a princess.
Please don’t praise them for how they look.
Please don’t expect them to be like a princess.
And please don’t praise OTHER little girls for how they look. Yes, looks are important, but at the end of the day, our looks do not define who we are.
Let us help our children grow up to be who they are and not who we expect them to be.
That’s what real love is all about. [And who wants to be a princess anyways? 
]
~~~
Lisa Bloom (author of Think: Straight Talk for Women to Stay Smart in a Dumbed Down World) has written a wonderful article about talking to little girls. If you need some good tips talking to other people’s children, I definitely recommend reading her article.
Long, long ago, I wrote to the publishers of the Chinaberry book cotalag (fine books for children) to protest their listing of Laura Ingalls Wilder’s books under the heading LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE BOOKS. I explained that PRAIRIE was only one of the Wilder titles, but had achieved fame due to the television series, which had less to do with Laura than it had to do with Michael Landon’s blow-dried hair. They replied by return mail (it was the olden days), laughing, and changed their cotalag listing to LITTLE HOUSE BOOKS.