When did I become so mundane–just posting other people’s quotes?

I have been so consumed by consuming information and watching what other people are posting that I have no time left for creativity and thus keep recycling other people’s quotes because it is so much easier to do.

And really could I have said it any better myself?

What’s the use of reinventing the wheel anyways?

I have recently been thinking of weaning myself from all social media these days — just when there has been a prolific increase of articles on the benefits of social media and the importance of networking via social media…

How exactly beneficial is social media for an individual?

• Meet new people
• Get in touch with people that we have fallen ‘out of touch’ with
• Keep informed about events
• Set up same-interest groups
• Create an online self-image (can be positive/negative/true/false whatever we want)
• Provides wide and instant coverage of events in our lives
• Create a social network albeit virtual
• Provide emotional support to each other

And the dangers?

• It desensitizes us to the life we live at this moment.
• It decreases real interaction in our lives. (When I get together with friends, everyone reaches for their android phone at least several times to check up on whatever. Hey, I do it, too! But I don’t like it one bit! I feel I am being disrespectful to the other, yet I can’t help myself. It’s crazy!)
• We meet less with people, because we already interact enough online.
• It creates feelings of jealousy of other people’s lives–of what our friends have and we don’t. People post mostly happy pictures on their profiles, which is very cheerful and something that I look forward to. Yet when I am having a bad day and someone posts a picture of how much fun they had the night before, I don’t want to see it and sometimes I feel resentful. Don’t you?
• It is so spontaneous and instantaneous that it strips real spontaneity out of our lives. No more going over to a friend without letting them know up front (can be a good thing or a bad thing, I know!) No more planning for a party and then waiting excitedly to see who will be coming or not.
• We can’t get a ‘feel’ for the person we meet online because we are not face to face. People can easily be dishonest or hide behind false identities, which poses considerable danger for our children–if not for ourselves.

I don’t mean to write a comprehensive list of benefits and dangers. These are some of the things that struck me at first thought.

When Facebook first came to life, I fell in love with it, became addicted to Farmville and various applications. And now the lovey-dovey days are over and I am falling out of love–just when Facebook is about to go public. It’s going to happen on May 18 and I don’t plan to buy. Only time will tell if my decision has been wise or foolish.

Facebook now feels artificial. The irony of it is that it has been artificial from the beginning, but I felt that it was REAL. It lacks one-on-one interaction with people. I can’t see the body language of the person making a comment — an important part of communication. When that component is missing, it can never be a real relationship. It’s like trying to hug someone when you are talking to them on Skype–even that is more real because the person is in front of you.

It’s the personal pictures that I look at the most, because they are the ones that feel most real to me. I mostly ignore the rest of the youtube or music posts. I also dislike image/quote posts. They make me feel like I am back in school reading boring history books. And just like pictures, I like personal posts or updates–yet they are becoming rarer by the day.

We are living in weird times (cliche saying for anyone getting older!). The amount of information available online is so huge, it’s unreal. It’s a blessing and a curse at the same time. I possibly can’t have anything more to add to what’s already out there. Being original is so difficult, because so many people have already said so many things about the same things. I admire those who can write with a fresh look on things and speak their hearts honestly. And I don’t think I can live without internet. Do I need medical advice? I go online. Do I need a good recipe? Do I need a quick fix for my computer bug? I go online. Do I need to shop for clothes/books/bargains? I go online. And there is good information–if you know how to weed through it. But on Facebook, I feel like it’s getting shallower by the day. I am sharing less and have started to be more discreet. I don’t want my personal life to be out in the open–even to all my friends. I want to share certain things with certain friends. Not all my friends need to know everything about me. Facebook has figured this out as well and they have added friend lists where you can sort people into groups depending on what you want to share with them. I am too lazy to do that and I don’t want to sort my friends into best, second best, third best, etc. I am too old for that. But I am a Peeping Tom–watching other’s posts, but hiding myself. But the fact remains that I see less and less original posts from my friends. Is it because I have been pushed down to my friends’ acquaintance lists that I don’t get to see anything much? Or is it because we are all getting flooded by the overwhelming amount of information that surrounds us? The TV, the radio, the blogs/magazines/newspapers/clothing stores/account updates that we have subscribed to? Is that why we can’t find time to find anything original to say?

Please write a comment and say something original about what I have written. I would love to read it and gobble it up like I do my most delicious mushroom-onion pizza

And thanks to my friend who posted this question on her Facebook profile yesterday. It inspired today’s article

~~~~~

• Happy Birthday, My Dear

Agent: We have located your father-in-law, but I can’t tell you anything.

I: Why?

Agent: Because of security reasons.

(… awkward silence…)

I: What kind of security reasons?

Agent: Are you an authorized contact for the passenger?

(Stupid question, because he already knows that I am not — he has accessed all the information through the reservation I gave him!)

I: I am. He is coming to stay with us! (starting to get frustrated at this point.)

Agent: What is your name? Are you listed on his reservation as a contact person?

(Dah! You already know I am not listed on his reservation!)

I: Look. He is my father-in-law. My name is not listed on his reservation, but I know all his information and here is all my information if you would like to put it down. (I am frustrated now.)

Agent: I am sorry, ma’am. The RULES dictate that no passenger information can be passed on to another who is not authorized to receive such information.

I: But this is really frustrating! He is 71 years old. What kind of a security measure is this? He is crossing the Atlantic to a foreign country. He is in more danger with no one to pick him up from the airport!!!

Agent: I am sorry, ma’am. I understand your situation. But I cannot help you. The RULES for security are clear on this issue.

I: Ok then. (I bit my tongue back not to say fxxx the rules.)

Rules, rules, rules. Most of the time, they make sense. However, sometimes the rules are simply outrageous and go against all common sense. I always like to think of rules as guidelines much like what Barbossa tells Elizabeth in the Pirates of the Caribbean: The code is more what you’d call ‘guidelines’ than actual rules.

I don’t give up easily when faced with an obstacle–especially if they are disguised as ‘rules’–made up by some other human being who had nothing better to do than to create more clutter in our lives. So here is the rest of the story: I hung up the phone and hit the Internet. I did not have to look far. When I had a reservation code and the last name of the passenger, I could access his full itinerary. What is more, everything was updated real time, so I was able to see on which flight they had rebooked him, which was really the only piece of information that I needed.

Hey, but do you see the STUPIDITY of the SECURITY rule in this case? If a person can’t give me that information because of the RULES, yet I can fish for that information online… You understand where I am getting at. I shall never bother talking to a human being asking for information for a missing passenger and neither should you. It was a waste of my time and my money (my precious 15 minutes and $2)–not to mention that it was 15 minutes of time for the agent at the other end of the line and the airline paying for the agent to do their job… Ummm what job? Customer service comprised of nicely informing me that they won’t tell me anything! On the other hand, fishing for the information online? Under 3 minutes. When I look back, I wonder why I ever even bothered to make that phone call…

Tonight I finally got to see the movie. I was deeply disappointed. Had I not been so enthusiastic about the book and had I only checked out this movie from my library, I would have watched the first fifteen minutes and decided that it was a B movie and not have bothered to watch it any further. However, having read the book, having heard all the shenanigan and hoopla over the movie, I HAD to see it, right? After the first hour, I was bored and considered walking out, but then I decided I would stick it out for the sake of the good book…

Definitely nothing like the Harry Potter or the Lord of the Rings movies. Those were definitely something else… Maybe I went there expecting too much?

Here are my lowlights:

• Despite the fast pace of the book, the pace of the movie was slow and dragged at times.
• The shaking camera in the beginning missed the desired effect and gave my eyes too much strain and annoyed me terribly. Which century was this movie made in???
• Even though the costumes and the makeup were great, everything else looked like low-budget.

Character choice flaws:

• Peeta’s build did not match the one described in the book. He should have been heavier built and much taller with flabs of fat visible during certain times.
• Both Katniss and Peeta had perfect teeth. How can 2 kids from District 12 have such perfectly set, white, glamorous teeth?
• Haymitch was too young.

Story line flaws:

If as a filmmaker you decide to stay true to the script, then remain true to the script. The needlessly re-created stories or certain parts that were eliminated without a good cause were agonizing. Here are some of the specifics that I missed:

• The mockingjay pin was given to Katniss by the mayor’s daughter in the book, but in the movie she found it in the black market. I did not understand why in the world would they want to re-create this story. If anything there was more beef in the original story.
• Peeta’s father gave Katniss a cookie before she left for the Hunger Games, which she tossed out the window on the train. Why leave it out?
• 7^th district sent bread to Katniss during the games at great cost, which we never saw take place. Why?
• Peeta was almost dying when the games were finished and he was saved really the last minute. Why was that changed?
• The wild beasts that attacked in the end had human eyes. In fact, they were genetically engineered from the dead tributes. But we never got any of that in the movie. Was it too expensive to do?
• There were no Avoxes–the people whose tongues were cut out as punishment. There was also someone abducted in the forest whom later on Katniss met again as an Avox serving her during her stay in the Capital. Were they also to expensive to conjure up?
• In the book, President Snow breaks the crown in half and places one half on Katniss and the other on Peeta. Why did the film makers change that into crowning only Katniss in the end?
• The film portrayed Katniss as if she really fell in love with Peeta, but in the book she had her doubts about him even in the end. The film never showed how she was more interested in Gale than in Peeta and how she felt torn between the two.
• The ending with President Snow walking away was totally wrong and I felt like I fell off a cliff with that ending! Yes, we definitely know the second part is going to come, but come on — not an ending like that?

I think the amount of money that has been made from this movie is largely due to the ‘successful’ marketing. After the movie, I felt like I had been cheated out of my $10. And yet, despite the fact that my 11-year-old did not want to read or watch the movie 3 weeks ago, she begged to see the movie a week later when it came out because of peer pressure.  The next day she spent another $10 on a magazine about the movie. And today I paid another $10 myself to watch the movie. Successful marketing made $30 from my family. Otherwise, I would never have paid that much!!!

I don’t like it when I feel like I have been brainwashed into buying something… Do you?

There remain many questions regarding the exact details of what happened.

Was there a fight before he fired? Was he really shooting in self-defense?

For me the most interesting questions are:

• Was it a hate crime? Or what?
• Why does it make the crime ‘more’ punishable if it’s labeled a ‘hate’ crime?

The shooter is a white guy shooting a black kid and there were some comments where people said had it been the other way around-the shooter black and the victim white-the story would have unfolded differently. Then it would just be another day in America where a black person commits a crime and the white person is the victim. So what’s new?

But the story is more complicated because the shooter is white and the victim is black. Why would a white guy shoot a black kid? The white man surely does not shoot without a good cause (self-defense, for example). However, if the white man shoots just because he hates the black man, then the white man is in BIG trouble! The white man is not allowed to hate and if he commits a crime based on hate, God help him. Because ‘hate’ is not a feeling for the whites and they will punish one of their own more severely for committing a crime based on hate-to prevent it from happening in the future. (He can get the death penalty if it’s a hate crime, but not if it’s ‘just’ man-slaughter.)

So there is extra punishment for the feeling portion of the crime???

Hate is not a ‘good’ feeling: We all know that, but I have to confess I do have people in my life that I hate. However, if I commit murder based on those feelings I can get the death penalty, but not if I simply commit murder with no strong feelings???

Anyways, things get even more complicated the next day: the shooter turns out to be half-hispanic half-white and he has many multi-racial friends-including blacks. Oops! What do we do with the hate-crime theory now?

It was so easy to label and interpret the whole thing as a hate crime…

Was he then acting out in self-defense? If not, why in the world would George kill Trayvon? [Why in the world would anyone kill somebody? Duh!!!]

I have difficulty understanding why race would be such an important point to consider in such an event. But then I have difficulty understanding why race is such an important issue in this country. Is it the remnants of the bloody history of this country? Why for God’s sake should it matter what a person’s race is?

So that we can stereotype more easily???

We all know what the statistics say about the percentage of whites versus all the others in prisons. The whites are a minority in prisons, so the likelihood of any white person being a criminal is very low and the likelihood of any other being a criminal is very high.

So we walk out at night and we are afraid of all the non-whites that we see roaming the streets, because every one of them could be a potential criminal.

I hate statistics when it leads to inferences like this, because in fact, every single person we see walking at night could be a potential criminal regardless of race! Ditch the statistics and beware!

We can NEVER judge an individual based on what the statistics say about the population.

Coming back to Trayvon’s murder: How do we explain it if it’s not a hate crime? Does it make George ‘less’ guilty when it’s not a hate crime? Of course not, but in the face of law, he becomes ‘less’ guilty: he will not get the death penalty! Because there is no ‘hate’ feeling to punish??? [Disclosure: I am not an advocate of death penalty under any circumstances.]

On the other hand, had it been a ‘hate crime’ would it have made the shooter ‘more’ guilty? Given all the statistics that we have been spoon-fed and have come to believe as truth, I would think no, it would not make George ‘more’ guilty. He would in fact be ‘less’ guilty, because the statistics have taught us that non-whites are more likely to be criminals, so we have learned to hate non-whites. Therefore, it should be deemed ‘normal’ when somebody commits a hate crime based on race. After all, he was operating under the racial stereotyping umbrella…

It boggles my mind. Mindboggling…

Why should race even be considered as a motive in such an incident???

Why does it matter what the race of the person is in a crime?

A crime is a crime. Period.

Look at the facts.

Listen to the phone records. Apparently the boy was on the phone with his girlfriend seconds before he was killed. We live in a technology age, I am sure that phone conversation can be retrieved.

But hey, letting people ramble on about speculations is more dramatic than laying the bare facts.

Let the people ramble on…

It’s high time that we got rid of this racial slur, racial segregation, racial stereotyping, racial labeling, racial anything. Let’s get rid of the race option on all the forms. Why does it matter? We are all humans. Why does it matter if one dresses in white and the other in black?

It divides us, destroys peaceful relationships and breeds hate among people. More blacks in prisons, thus if a black is even suspected of committing a crime, oh yes, don’t look further; he’s probably done it. Less whites in prison, thus if a white is suspected of committing a crime, oh no, he couldn’t have done it man, cause he’s white… All poppycock…

This is where the science of statistics becomes problematic: when it creeps into our lives and starts dictating how we behave towards other people based on averages calculated in someone else’s spreadsheet and published in an academic journal…

Let’s not let science dictate the way we live, because WE are the ones giving the facts to the scientists.

Let’s coexist in peace and harmony.

~~~

Read more: 

• Many questions in shooting of Trayvon Martin
• Trayvon Martin’s dad: Video of shooter at station proves he lied

(Disclosure: Despite my detestation, I have not restricted my daughter’s play with them, but I HAVE limited TV time to maximum 1 hour everyday.)

Today, she was watching the Disney Sing Along Songs Volume 1 (Disney Princess Once Upon a Dream)  when I caught the lyrics of a particular song where this little girl was singing, “I want to be like other girls.”

Suddenly I was all ears!

And you know what? I LOVED the lyrics. So much so I HAD to share it here on my blog.

My goodness!!! Finally!!! Finally, there was a princess, who did NOT want to be a princess and was telling all the wonderful things about being just a little girl!!! I was thrilled.

The song is from Mulan 2 and called Like Other Girls.

Here are the lyrics that made my day:

The life of a princess from her birth is well defined.

She must humbly serve her country; play the part she’s been assigned.

She guards the hopes of her people: weak & mighty, rich and poor.

Who could ever ask for more?

Who could ever ask for more?

[oh, yes! WHO could EVER ask for more?]

I want to be like other girls,

Climb up a tree like other girls can,

Just to be free like other girls get to be.

To slouch when I sit,

To eat a whole cake,

Feel the sun on my feet,

Get dirty,

Act silly,

Be anything I want to be,

Dance around in my underwear,

To run really fast,

Get rid of this fan,

To eat a whole cake,

Get crazy with frosting.

No escorts,

No manners,

No nursemaids,

No worries,

No hands folded perfect, like holding a lily

No pinchy shoes?

I want to be like other girls

Scrape up my knee like other girls can

Just to be free, like other girls get to be

To speak for myself

To sing way off key

Marry someone I’ve met, who loves me for me!

I used to think that it was cute calling my girls princesses. My younger daughter has never liked being called a princess. When I call her a princess, she will look me squarely in the eye and tell me she is NOT a princess. I could not understand her overreaction for quite some time. Why would some of her little girlfriends LOVE dressing up as princesses and flaunt all they have for the entire world to see, but not my little pumpkin?

Well, I think I finally understand what my daughter intuitively knew all along.

Here is my conclusion: The word ‘princess’ is loaded with so many hidden meanings, responsibilities, and expectations. When we bestow that title upon our little GIRLS (luckily, we don’t do this to boys!) and expose them to the ‘wonderful’ world of Disposable Peas, what kind of message are we giving them? We are setting them up for an impossible mission to fulfill for the rest of their lives. Simply by accepting the title of a princess, our precious little girls strive to meet that definition in their little heads. We can trick them all we want by saying, “Oh no, that is not princess behavior,” “eat like a princess,” “talk like a princess,” “walk like a princess,” etc. But we are TRICKING them. We are not being HONEST with our kids. We tell them they are a princess and expect them to BE a princess and stifle their own little personalities instead of letting them shine through. Burdened with the title of a princess, they are not FREE to be THEMSELVES anymore.

Please don’t call your girls a princess.

Please don’t praise them for how they look.

Please don’t expect them to be like a princess.

And please don’t praise OTHER little girls for how they look. Yes, looks are important, but at the end of the day, our looks do not define who we are.

Let us help our children grow up to be who they are and not who we expect them to be.

That’s what real love is all about. [And who wants to be a princess anyways? ]

~~~

Lisa Bloom (author of Think: Straight Talk for Women to Stay Smart in a Dumbed Down World) has written a wonderful article about talking to little girls. If you need some good tips talking to other people’s children, I definitely recommend reading her article. 

Where “I am sorry,” means, “Well, I know I did something not quite right and I don’t REALLY FEEL sorry, but my mom told me to say this whenever I did something so I am just saying it.”

Where “Please” and “Thank you” are used so profusely that it mostly does not REALLY mean anything. However, it’s almost a sin if you forget to say those words after the end of each sentence and question you pose.

Where “Can you forgive me?” is used like a doormat in defense of your actions and you don’t REALLY care whether the other person forgives you or not, because you will continue to behave just the same and do not plan to adjust your future actions.

Where everybody SEEMS to care, but then nobody REALLY cares.

Where everybody talks all the time, but nobody has anything REAL to say about anything.

Where everybody is called a friend and wants to be your friend but then nobody is your REAL friend.

Where freedom of speech is highly valued and is considered a hallmark of the American culture, but it REALLY is not the case, because:

Where praising and positive compliments have become so much the norm that anyone won’t dare utter a REAL ‘negative’ remark for fear of offending someone.

Where being politically correct has taken over REAL words.

Where words have lost their true meaning in REAL life.

Where the underlying emotions accompanying words have been stripped away preventing REAL interaction with others.

Where people robotically go from home to work, from work to home (the religious folk also try to go to church and then there are the devout football fans who live for the football games).

Where life is an endless cycle of Christmases-Valentine’s Days-Easters-4^th of Julys-Halloweens-Thanksgivings-Christmases, etc.

Where people with deep emotional issues may find momentary relief, because all the above provide excellent escape/remedy from dealing with the REAL problems at hand.

Where relationships have become artificial, superficial, and superfluous.

A part of me loves it and another part of me hates it.

Welcome to my world.

Now here is the punchline: Guess with which group of people this book is popular? Christian home-schoolers!!!

Here is the irony of the system in this country. The teachers at schools are under EXTREME pressure from the parents. They are being watched like a hawk and God help them if they so as much as lay a finger on a kid. They will probably lose their job… [I met a male kindergarten teacher once, who said he had to quit, because it was not appropriate for him to even touch the kids in his class—let alone give a hug—even though it was considered normal for female kindergarten teachers to be affectionate with their students.]

Okay, I admit, maybe some teachers are out of line and we have to protect our kids, but come on, we will never ever hear of a teacher using corporal punishment. Not in the United States of America. There would be a big upheaval and the teacher in question would be sued big time.

And then there is the occasional kid who is abused at home and the teacher can step in and call the authorities, then the parents can be sued of child abuse/neglect.

But how do we protect the home-schooled kids who have to live under the tyranny of parents who believe in corporal punishment and who actually carry it out??? Does it make corporal punishment okay when it is done in the name of God Almighty and Jesus Christ?

The Pearls, along with many conservative Christians, say the Bible calls for corporal punishment. “To give up the use of the rod is to give up our views of human nature, God, eternity,” they write in the book.

Three kids have already died, but the Pearls (the authors of the book) are not being charged. Fine, there is freedom of speech and you can write anything you want. But, how come they can ban Harry Potter in some states and not this book? Something just does not add up.

Links:

• Pastor’s corporal punishment advice scrutinized after child deaths

Disclosure: I am a strong advocate of attachment parenting and do not believe and have never exercised any form of physical punishment with my children. I believe there are a myriad of ways to get through to a child instead of reverting to aggressive behavior. 

Surely I am not the only one with this predicament, so I fish around for books. There are so many! Which one to read in my precious little time? How to Hug a Porcupine by Julie A. Ross was the winner of my jackpot.

She has some great advice in her book. The book is easy to read, her suggestions are easy to understand and practical, and she has great examples.

She describes the middle schoolers as hormonal, disorganized, and defiant. I totally agree. As if the sheer effect of hormones wreaking havoc on this age group is not enough, they have to deal with constant change in their physical bodies (as well as watching their friends transform physically into something else). On top of this, they have to learn to deal with their expanding mental abilities AND keep up with schoolwork AND keep up with increasing responsibilities around the house AND keep up with the growing expectations of people for them to start behaving like an adult. Wow! Typing it out like this already makes me feel nauseous! In short, it is very natural for a middle schooler to be hormonal, disorganized, and defiant. Who wouldn’t be?

Julie says, “Anticipate earthquakes. Say to yourself: ‘This is normal and to be expected.’” (p. 3)

Thus, it becomes crucial to be respectful towards our middle schoolers. It is just not the parents who are in uncharted territory: the kids themselves are there right alongside us. The kids are going through this period where they have to break out of their cocoons and transform into butterflies. They were caterpillars under our wings and now they have to learn to spread their own wings. No small feat…

Sometimes, it can be hard for a parent to be a bystander as their kids struggle to find their way. This is the predicament of most overprotective parents. We have to give our children the time and space they need to learn to fly. If you help a butterfly out of its chrysalis, it won’t be able to fly. It is the battle to break free that makes the butterfly fly.

Listening and understanding must accompany respectful communication with our children. They need to know we are there for them, but we have to be careful not to step on their shoes. It takes a lot of skill to find the middle way between being overprotective and being overly permissive. For example, some parents take it personally upon themselves to make sure their child turns in a perfect homework, but is that homework for the parent (this is what a friend of mine asked me when I was extending too much help on homework to curb the whining of my 5^th grader!!!)? An example for the overly permissive parent would be that parent who gave $600 pocket money to a 5^th grader going on a school field trip … What would a 5^th grader do with that much money on a school field trip???

Having said all that, Julie emphasizes that, “Understanding our middle schooler does NOT mean we are condoning misbehavior or rudeness” (p. 84).

In her book, Julie has excellent discussions on how to communicate with our kids. She gives examples about ‘communication blocks’. My personal two favorites are ‘advising’ and ‘placating’ communication blocks.

1. An advising parent would sound something like, “Next time, you should…” or “Well, what you need to do is go back to her and explain that…” Apparently when middle schoolers hear this kind of talk, what they think is along these lines: “I never do anything right.” Or “What happens is all my fault.”
2. A placating parent would sound something like, “Oh, honey. You’re beautiful/talented/smart no matter what she/he said about you.” And the middle schooler would be thinking, “Mom/Dad doesn’t understand me.” Or “Mom/Dad is lying.” (p. 84)

My best take from her book is the idea of family meetings. “They comprise a short amount of distraction-free time that you set aside weekly to be together as a family. They give you the opportunity to discuss values and other relevant issues, to make decisions, to problem solve, and to reinforce a sense of ‘family community’ in an emotion-neutral zone” (p. 69).

We are getting on with these meets every other week now. We have done 2 meetings so far. When I first put the idea on the table, my daughter resisted big time. (What would we talk about anyway?) My husband and I decided to give it a festive flair and to keep it simple to wear down resistance. After all, it was important that the children understood that these gatherings were not about preaching them, but hearing them out and discussing issues related to our family and values. Thus, our first meet had non-alcoholic champagne and 3 different types of cookies and we talked about why we were thankful to have each and every one of us in our family. During the second one, we extended our discussion to include the best and the worst moments we had during our week. I am planning to build it up eventually. The kids are taking it really well )

Thank you Julie for the great idea!

Related posts:

• How to establish healthy relationships?
• Listening to our children
• About this emotional life: Happiness/Intimacy

Note: This article is my personal opinion. I have no monetary gain of any kind from promoting this book nor do I have any kind of personal affiliation with Julie A. Ross.

A cage with duct tape around it that says, “Caution” – as if it’s a crime scene…

And on top of the cage is the sign that says: “Banned Books Week”.

Where are we? What year?

Gainesville, Florida, United States of America and the date is September 28, 2011.

And the books in the cage: (the infamous) Harry Potter, The Upstairs Room (a Newberry Honor Book), In the Night Kitchen (a Caldecott Honor Book), and more…

I was so baffled that I sought a librarian and asked what was going on.

She said, “These are the books that have been banned elsewhere in the U.S… – not in Gainesville.”

How much longer before they are also banned here?

How did they get banned? The librarian says, “Well, some person reads the book and finds something in there that s/he finds offensive and finds a court that will listen and then the book is banned.”

Is it that easy? What happened to freedom of speech? In the land of the free?

I get offended in this land all the time. I don’t go around complaining to a court of law about how I got offended by what someone else said – or wrote.

Or should I? [I need a court to listen to me! I got offended! My FEELINGS got hurt…] Uh oh…

Hello! We are not a bunch of 5-year-olds running around tattletaling!!!

I have a problem with people who think they can use their own ‘rights to be offended’ to limit other people’s rights.  What happened to the melting pot of different cultures and religions that made this country such a great place to live in?

Who is right and who is wrong? What gives a person the ‘RIGHT’ to judge another for what they ‘WRITE’? And what kind of a court of law gets involved in such PETTY quibbles???

And what happens to MY right to read a book that I might find very interesting and inspiring???

Harry Potter has become my all time favorite. And I hate to see it bashed as a book that promotes witchcraft and wizardry. It is a story of courage, inspiration, and friendship. EVERYONE is entitled to his or her own opinion. If you don’t like it, fine, but please don’t try to stop me from reading it, thinking you are ‘saving’ me or thinking you know ‘better’. [If anything, I think all the negative hype should be geared towards the paraphernalia that has cluttered the toy stores, the bookstores and the minds of our kids -- it is all those gadgets that do a great injustice to J. K. Rowling and give a bad name to her life's brilliant work...]

And please don’t go around criticizing other populations on the planet who go and burn books. Because banning them is not much different.

How can we ever dream of a world of peace if we cannot even tolerate what some of us choose to write?

How can we ever think of reconciling the deep chasm between Palestinians and the Israelis if we can’t stand our own differences?

The blame game of why what THEY did hurt MY feelings will never stop, unless we stop playing the game. Stop blaming somebody else for your own feelings.

Talk it out. Deal with it.

Or just zip it!

Coexist.